Everybody in this world is inadequate at something. For example, I completely inadequate at spelling “inadequate” properly the first time I spell it. This opening paragraph took me four hours to get right because I had to keep changing the spelling of that damn word every time. Even when I had gotten the proper spelling, my fingers kept falling on the wrong keys over and over again, my brain stuck in an endless groove of “inadaquete, inadaquat, inadaquete, cumquat.” I even spelled the last one wrong a few times before getting it right.

Stupid, stupid fruits. Or vegetables. Or whatever the hell a cumquat is. Looks like an orange to me.
Photo Courtesy of Iron Bark Citrus

Of course, there are dozens of things that I am completely inadequate at doing. For example, I could never play guitar like Steve Vai. Not that I’d necessarily WANT to play guitar like Steve Vai but my shredding skills are utterly inadequate to the task. I could perhaps play guitar a bit like Eddie Vedder but (no offense Eddie) I don’t consider that to be an incredible accomplishment. I can’t even play guitar like Johnny Ramone but if I could that I’d feel accomplished. That guy was incredible at playing really, really fast, simple guitar parts like a genius.

Another thing I’m inadequate at is encouraging friends or seeming engaged in what they tell me. I have to let all the people that know me personally that are reading this blog that I’m really, honestly, seriously, sincerely not ignoring you. The problem is that I’m often distracted by own thoughts (which come at me fast and without control) which can leave me mute for minutes at a time, lost in very, very important personal debates.

Such as whether or not the “Baroness” from G.I. Joe was hotter than April O’Neil. She was.

I hate that aspect of me as a person sometimes because I am actually usually very engaged and interested in what my friends have to say. But it’s hard for me to muster up an “enthusiastic” look on my face or sound to my voice. This has led to the breakdown of creative partnerships because I simply can’t say “yeah that idea fugging ROCKS!” with enough enthusiasm. It’s also led to the end of relationships, simply because I couldn’t say “I love you, lady” with the proper amount of conviction. And besides, who says “I love you, lady”? Too impersonal.

I am really trying my best to get better at this: certain friends of mine from college no doubt believe that I am really slow to give compliments when compliments are deserved. Perhaps that’s true.  The problem is that I really, really do have a hard time taking compliments well. I always feel like I’ve done something to trick the person into thinking I’m worth a compliment, even a compliment as small as “hey nice hat.” No, really the hat sucks.

Anyways, you look good today. And I mean that.