For the exciting lead up to this eye popping battle, you should check out part eight of the story here. And remember: this actually happened.

Pooh immediately runs into the room swinging both of his swords quickly and accurately: limbs are shed from all manners of creatures as they scream in agony. They pivot towards Pooh who runs up and down pillars, nearly parallel to the ground, slicing, dicing and ripping his enemies to shreds.

“Kick ass,” said Jenny.

I watch grimly aware that I have no fighting skills and I assume Jenny doesn’t either. However, she surprises me by pulling two six inch blades out of her purse and assuming a fighting pose.

“Follow me,” she said. “I’ll mop up what he missed and we might be able to get out.” She immediately runs and I follow, knowing full well to stay in place is to die.

But damn if I ain’t out of shape! My feet and ankle starts to feel bad first: my stamina, it’s still reasonably okay.

The trail of blood was already quickly growing behind Pooh. He didn’t leave many stragglers in his straight line and those that stood to the left and right of it stood momentarily stunned as we ran by: Jenny would swipe at any who lunged with a speed I wouldn’t have expected from her. I could feel the creatures, the wave of creatures, closing behind me as we ran and pausing a few moments before coming straight at us again.

I felt completely helpless in a way I had never felt: I could hear the monsters roar behind us, smell the stench of their hides and bodies and practically feel their hands touching me. Once, I swear I felt fingers clutching at my shirt put a burst of speed quickly made that fear a thing of the past.

Singing ahead of us, Pooh continued to cut. He sang in a harsh, rough Russian voice that I couldn’t understand.

“He’s singing about snacks,” said Jenny with no expression in her voice. She sliced the throat of a lunging ghoul who clutched the wound as gray blood poured over his fingers.

I smelt smoke, burning and heard screaming. Somebody had set fire to…something but I couldn’t see where or who it could possibly be. I stayed as close to Jenny as I could and she stayed as close to Pooh as possible but it was getting harder and harder to keep up for both of us (me due to stamina and her due to Pooh’s stamina which was endless).

Gradually, we seemed to get further and further from Pooh who continued to swing and cut and scream with endless passion. Jenny started to pant heavily (one cannot smoke so much without some damage) and my body ached. I could hardly keep up with her any more and the monsters began to get closer and closer.

I had to throw punches and kicks to get through them now: their fear of us was growing smaller and smaller by the moment: they touched me and their hands were clammy, cold but not slimy as I had expected. I pulled away from their grasp in revulsion.

At some point I realized they weren’t pulling at us or trying to hurt us: they would grab us and touch us but I hadn’t been directly attacked by any of them. I took a good look into the eyes of one of them and realized why: there wasn’t much there. These great creatures were essentially mindless drones that barely seemed to exist.

I touched Jenny on the shoulder as she sliced through the creatures and whispered “stop.”

“Are you crazy?” she said tearing into another creature.

“Just let them be. Watch what happens.”

She stopped cutting the creatures and closed her eyes, anticipating the end. I wasn’t sure why it took so little to convince her to stop: perhaps she was simply tired and knew we were nowhere near out of there (I figured we were a little under halfway through the huge room through which Robocop had led us) and simply figured it was her time to go.

I watched the creatures as they grabbed at our arms, legs, backs and various other parts of our body. They didn’t rip or tear: they simply touched us as if the simple act of touching was all they really wanted. Up ahead I heard Pooh shouting and screaming and noted not one of the creatures screamed as he cut them into ribbons.

“Pooh!” I shouted, trying to get his attention. I could not see him any more but simply saw the limbs and heads flying through the air. Blood spurted out of various necks and limb stumps in a gory festival that would be amusing to me if I saw it in a movie but which was beginning to turn my stomach watching it unfold in real time.

“Damn it! Pooh!” Jenny shouted as the creatures pawed us. They actually parted as we walked towards Pooh, giving us room to walk.

I began to wonder if the screams and howls I had heard had been imagined when a creature touched me and howled as if he was on fire: I turned to look but he was smiling. They were howls and screams of joy and happiness not of rage or anger.

It was in all honesty beginning to become unbearable seeing these poor dolts tore to shreds by the master Pooh and I wished heavily he would stop.

Suddenly, the creatures picked us up and held us over their heads. They moved so quickly we had no time to scream out loud or defend ourselves. They began moving us over their heads in the direction we wanted to go. How convenient yet terrifying.

That was when I saw they had Pooh. He was relaxed now and no longer cutting. I slowly felt all tension leave my body as we moved closer and closer to Pooh. When we were right next to him, I felt as if nothing was more natural than where I was at the moment.

Which didn’t seem right to me.

“Something in these guys…” said Pooh. “Relaxing me. Calming me down.”

“Me too,” said Jenny.

“They are taking us…someplace…I hope it is for the best…”

A large door opened up on the far wall: in fact, the door was the wall. A bright light shone through as the creatures slowly and silently moved us towards the door. I was quite happy to let them do it.