Confused? Obviously you didn’t read part 9 or any of the rest of this masterpiece of non-fiction. Go do that then come back here.

The three of us laid back and relaxed as these strange, groping yet quite friendly creatures dragged us deeper and deeper into the lighted chamber. I lightly lifted my head with a grin and saw something huge and writhing just inside the door but trying to consider it, even for a moment was difficult: it was too big and too potentially freakish to register properly.

“God damn, this is just like…getting high,” said Jenny as she giggled. “Maybe heroin. I did that one time.”

“No good,” said Pooh.

“I know,” she said.

As we got closer, I felt the creatures begin a series of dark, guttural chants that were in some elder language I had never heard. Certainly, it was nothing Romantic, Germanic or Asian as the syllables formed no familiar sounds or ideas that I could recognize. The chanting grew and grew as they moved us over their heads. The nearer we got, the more intense the chanting: it got to the point where I honestly felt like they were holding us in the air through the power of their chants.

That, of course, is ridiculous.

I looked through the door again and caught glimpse of what awaited us: a series of pillars that stretched as far as the eye could see and past: fires, burning through holes in the floor like in some damn bad fantasy movie; creatures moving in poses and postures that suggested some type of rhyme and reason and even more so a basic sense of worship; and again, the large, large mass of writhing tentacles that ate at my mind but which I couldn’t fully process.

“What is that thing?” I said to Jenny, pointing one arm lackadaisically towards the creature.

She looked for a moment and I registered, for the first time, fear. It gradually faded away.

“Fuck…I have no idea. It looks like…cthulu.”

“That’s what I was thinking,” I said.

“Ca…hulu?” said Pooh.

I laughed at his mispronunciation then felt bad for laughing: liberal guilt trip kicking in. I ignored it.

“There was a writer…H.P. Lovecraft. Horror. He wrote about things like this: ancient creatures that slumbered for centuries, the sight of which would drive you mad…and how they waited to crash into our realm and destroy us without thought, rhyme or reason.”

“Sounds dumb,” said Pooh, “or rather like a typical day of driving in Moscow.”

Both Jenny and I laughed but Pooh looked rather grim.

“I do not kid: it is awful to drive there,” he said.

We grew quiet as the chanting began to get overpowering. I felt fear struggling to form but always, always it was smoothed over by a feeling of simple bliss or happiness. A realization hit me hard, too hard to be ignored: this bliss came with the touch of the creatures and had no disappeared as we rode their heads.

Clearly, they were causing us to have these feelings. I’d already come to that conclusion (hadn’t I?) but maybe it had a reason…maybe it was needed to stop us from…going crazy with fear. It became harder and harder for me to concentrate so I laid back, closed my eyes and listened to the chanting of the creatures as they slowly, slowly carried us.

In the darkness of my eyelids, my mind cleared a little more and I could focus on the situation. The chanting made it hard to focus, though and I kept drifting, drifting to a different place, a different idea and situation over and over again. Somehow, it seemed impossible to consider myself in any danger when such light creatures danced on my eyes.

No, not the eye dancers that come when you close your eyes. This was different: it wasn’t the vague, slithering shapes of the weird creatures that live in our eyes. Instead, it was fully formed visions of creatures I had never seen and felt I would never see, moving to and fro in strange, rhythmless motions. They danced intensely and whole scenes began unfolding in my mind: vast fields of gray grass with a full lit sun filled sky.

Somehow, the sunlight made it more frightening than if it had been in the dark: these creatures, with limbs, tentacles, mouths and oddly proportioned body sections moved and slimed in the reality of the sun. They were in my eyes, in full resolution and completely lit and the idea of these creatures existing in the sunlight gave them more reality than if they had been confided to the darkest corners of the world.

After all, you can pull the cover over your head at night when the monsters creep around your bed and stare at you, waiting for a single portion of human skin to pop out so that they can rightfully devour you. However, in the full glare of the midday sun, no blanket can protect you from the tearing claws of the fitfully damned.

I realized suddenly that one of the creatures in the writhing masses looked familiar: I won’t beat around the bush for suspense. It was me. And there, next to it was Jenny, as a Cthulu spawn, writing in the grass, looking to rut with whatever male creature came her way. Wait, male? Female? These creatures were neither but were both. Pooh was nowhere to be seen.

My perception shifted, moved and glided through the darkness of my mind and I begin to see myself through the eyes of that creature. Oh no, this was no good. I fought hard, hard to bring my perception back to my normal sense, where I could hear the chanting growing louder yet fading in my mind, the touch of the creatures disappearing as I felt the grass beneath my…body and the sun on my…body.

It was no good. I was shifting totally into the body of this creature without fail. I couldn’t stop it. I turned to the Jenny creature and searched for her eyes. There they were…just above her rows of razor sharp teeth. It grunted at me incoherently and I grunted back. Slowly, the grunting language became clearer to me and I understood what it was saying.

“What the fuck? Where the fuck are we?” it said.

I said nothing but felt various pores of my body evacuate a thick, viscous ooze. At first, I thought I was defecating but as my understanding of my new body started to take over I realized I was actually…horny. The ooze was a pre-mating ritual intended for Jenny.

“Eww…”she said as she moved closer. “I…want to eat that.” She began oozing her own strange liquid which I suddenly wanted to eat with an intensity that disgusted and fascinated me. We both bent down to eat each other’s respective slimes as strange body functions I was unaware I possessed began activating, getting me ready to mate. We moved closer until we touched and it began.